Am i sleeping?

Today I didn’t barf, and I exercised for 37 minutes in the treadmill. It was not a good day, nor a bad one…

I feel as if I had activated a “neutral” button inside me that makes me act indifferent and unpreoccupied towards everything. I am not happy with my current job, and I am not very fond of one of my partners. I feel very lost, and don’t know where to find myself. My only clear goal is to have an awesome body and rock a bikini like an American Apparel model. I am tired of going to the beach and have people avoiding looking at my body. I am sick of walking and feeling relatively saggy abs, ass, legs and arms. I like the way my body is shaped, though: I have abundant ass, big legs, small waist and small breasts. I have kind of a hourglass shape, but the thing is that right now, the hourglass is made out of clay, not glass. I need to find a way to reach that goal I’ve been seeking for years. The first steps I am taking are eating right, enjoying my food, exercising every single day, and avoiding binging and barfing. I am definitely not certain about my professional future, I only know I will be successful. I imagine myself being a very important ,self-sufficient , disciplined woman… someone I would look up to. I know I am and have always been passionate about dance, fashion, typography and editorial layout design (well, that last one is recent).

Anyway, I have to go to sleep, it’s almost 3:30 am, so, to start with my baby steps towards a life with beneficial habits, I have to rest well.

I am going to finish every post with a positive inspiring thought or idea in order to attract more of that into my life.

“You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.” ~ Albert Einstein

I came across that phrase, and I think it definitely applies to me.

Love, E.

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