Down, really down

Since yesterday I’ve been feeling down, like nothing makes sense and nothing is worth living for. I’m not happy with my job, but I don’t wanna go looking for another one, I am gaining weight like crazy, my stomach is bloated and no decent clothes fit me, besides I have no money at all to do anything. Even though I read that the bloating and weight gaining are part of recovery, I am not handling them well. I must feel proud of myself because I havent binged even though I’ve wanted to, but this down feeling gets the best of me. On top of it all, I wanted to run on the treadmill today, and got so extremely tired I had to stop at minute 20!!!!!

I don’t know if this feeling is also part of recovery, but I hope it will go away soon because it sucks. I used to feel like this when I binged/purged, and hadn’t felt like this since yesterday and today.

See you later, I hope I feel better after writing this post.

E.

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