When the twisted part of my mind wins…

So, I always wait for something interesting to happen in my head so I can write an interesting post, but right now I’m feeling lousier by the second since the afternoon binge. I keep eating carelessly, without thinking about my goal to lose weight and enjoy/ingest food in a  healthy manner.

This happens, if not every time, most times after a binge: I adopt the attitude of giving up, of eating whatever I feel like eating, not exercising and sabotaging myself big time. An impressive amount of negative thoughts flow through my mind and I stop listening to my inner voice saying: stop it, you’re better than this, you can stop this. The voice that says : “eat it, eat it all; one cookie is not enough; add more cheese to that quesadilla, you’ve already eaten too many calories, what’s a little extra more?; you’re doing it once again, you’re stuck here, you might as well enjoy it; don’t exercise, what’s the point?; you’re fat already, fat and lazy and a procrastinator by excellence; don’t get out of your room, we’re comfortable locked inside here; you’re not good enough”…always wins in a binge, and I end up feeling like crap for not listening to the positive but quieter little voice.

With this I finish the post. I must sleep early so I can feel better tomorrow.

Good night, people

E

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2 thoughts on “When the twisted part of my mind wins…

  1. Don’t give up E – you are doing good. It’s a process. If it was easy you wouldn’t have to blog about it. We are all pulling for you and know you can make it! Keep up all of your good work thus far and DON’T give up on yourself!

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