Treating myself kindly, thinking positively, loving what I am right now, doing the best I can in everything are just a few things I’ve been putting into practice these days.
I have many things I need to work on though: I like pleasing others way too much and most of the time I make decisions based on what others will think or react. Like eating, for example: the not-so-loved partner criticized me today because I apparently eat lightly when surrounded by other people, but when I’m alone I eat like there was no tomorrow (she knows me very well, but ignores I went through an eating disorder). Well, that comment got stuck in my head so I ordered a blue cheese risotto influenced by the previous statement she made about my eating, and ate two pieces of a nutella pizza (my losing weight goal doesn’t match my actions). I also doubted my intelligence and felt inferior. Okay, Erika, enough with the beating yourself up already!
I am finally enjoying my food and not feeling guilty enough to barf or keep bingeing on other available food. I must watch my portions (and my thoughts) to reach a healthier (and more aesthetic) weight. I enjoy loving myself, and I embrace my curves, but I shall not take my eyes off my goal or else, I will not reach it any time soon. About the intelligence part, I know I am extremely smart, I’m just a bit distracted and that can be changed by practicing focusing in the present moment, reading a bit more and writing.
Reading other positive blogs has kept me sane and on the right track.
Thank you for writing such inspiring posts, readers, I love you.