A binge, another goddamn binge happened just now.
But, I wasn’t feeling lousy, I wasn’t feeling badly, I just arrived at the kitchen, opened up the refrigerator door and did what I apparently do best: look for food and eat it as if someone was competing with me. When I feel like eating less than healthy snacks my mind tends to say this: “Erika, today you had a very healthy lunch, you ate one small portion of pasta, steamed vegetables and chicken, you did great! Now, you can eat whatever you feel like”. Every single afternoon, I feel like snacking on chocolate… but I feel guilty about it. GUILT is the key word that continues to keep me from recovering. I didn’t find chocolate so I grabbed the peanut butter and ate it with an apple. Eventually, cookies and bananas were involved somewhere along the binge. Instead of dwelling on that nasty, useless feeling, I chose to prepare my meals and snacks for tomorrow, I chose STRUCTURE this time, just what I need in about every area of my life.
Structured eating consists on eating small meals every 3 hours throughout the day. That way I don’t get extremely hungry and stop finding excuses to be wondering around the kitchen. I got that tip from this lovely lady who recovered from Bulimia and created a site dedicated to the ones willing to follow the self-love path.
So, more structure, less guilt for me. And kindness, always and forever, kindness.