This is me.

So I was thinking today, a lot, a lot, a lot. And I think most when I should be sleeping or reading or doing all those stuff I say I have no time for. And also, most times I don’t feel like being honest, neither in real life, nor in my blog.

Nonetheless, this is my space to document my growth concerning recovery but, most of all, concerning life.

And today I wanna be honest right here. Maybe tomorrow I’ll regret it, maybe not.

I believe nothing is impossible, I believe I can get whatever I set my mind to, I believe I can live a happy and dreamy life even without knowing the how’s. I know I am fortunate and EXTREMELY lucky and I also know that is why I tend to “let things flow” instead of planning ahead and challenging myself with discipline. In order to live (an even more) fulfilling life, I shall plan and actually achieve! Reading inspiring stuff helps me but it doesn’t actually take me where I know I can go. I believe we are surrounded by abundance. I realize that by only looking at my friends and family, by having a fridge filled with food, by having a cellphone, by writing this blog!

And while I try to write good posts, I am also trying to figure out who Erika is and what she truly likes and wants. One day I’m a good friend, another day I’m not. One moment I’m kind to myself, the next one I can be harsh.

So, there it is, a little bit of honesty I had missed from my blog. I wanna inspire you, reader but I am more interested in inspiring and proving myself that I can be whatever I wanna be. I must be the proof of my beliefs. My beliefs are valuable and they can become a reality if I act upon them. So far, my beliefs have been limiting and tending to the negative side so I have proven how powerful those have been. But even with that, I still have so many positive stuff going on, so much joy and happiness!! So, by knowing that the sky is the limit and that anything I dream I can achieve, I can act differently.

I catch myself feeling down due to whatever I feel I don’t have. But I choose to stay down than to try doing something different, walking a different path.

I think I want change to be perfect, and by expecting perfection I only end up beating myself up at any stumble. But stumbles make me stronger and dreamy lives are built, they don’t appear magically.

So, this is me, this is my crazy beautiful rant.

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Beauty

And here are some inspiring photos I’ve been collecting.

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Wisdom

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To my bucket list. I plan on replicating this photo.

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Oh my cuteness

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9 thoughts on “This is me.

  1. “Oh my cuteness” – hilarious. Strong belief there, no? lol
    What a fantastic post, Erika. Don’t worry about so much how or what your writing is “supposed” to be – honest, exciting, inspiring, etc. Just be you. Wonderful Erika you. Easy to say, right? Hard to do. And I know because if you told me the same thing, I would scratch my head a bit and say “who *is* the real Paul?” I too am figuring out who I am and what I want. Hard to believe that at my age I have to say that, but it’s true. I hid for 25 years, so it’s like those years never counted. Our addictions transform us into chameleons and people pleasers and people who self-loathe and self-medicate and we get lost in a swirl of facades, emotions, our fixes, expectations, anger and fears. We stew in that for years. Our identity dissipates over time, and then we get clean and then we’re expected to know who we are? Yikes, what a tall order indeed.
    So I understand where you are coming from.

    But what you said about the power of beliefs is very true – if we can fulfill the negative ones, or prove them right, then it goes to show we can fulfill the positive ones. And hence it comes down to our perceptions – those are the glasses that we look through when we view the world…and ourselves. And it sounds like you are setting your sights higher. And that is such a thing to read…made me happy to see that in you.

    Follow your intuition, your inner guidance – get quiet and listen to the Creator within you, listen to the thing that you know is right, and follow that. At least that is what I do. And it’s your blog – your rules. Write from the heart – that is when you touch others the most. You certainly do for me when I read your writing – whether you are feeling great or not. Get it out. Grow. Stretch. Learn to like Erika, learn to love her. You have so much to offer.

    Blessings,
    Paul

    • It is VERY hard to do! But achievable I think. I also believe that figuring out who we are is a beautiful process, if we allow it to be. We are so lucky! at least we get to question our existence and find ourselves, what a gift.

      Setting my sights higher is what I have left to do! It’s a path I have not chosen for a long while so now I am going to try it.

      I have started meditating, in fact! That is the way I get quiet and listen to my Creator because I’m not very good at listening “him”, my voices are pretty loud haha.

      I love that you love my blog, I really do, every comment from you is just so wonderful, I thank you deeply.

      Blessings back to you 🙂 !!

  2. I love you so.
    Felt (and still feel) many of these emotions.
    I’ll be growing today.
    Even in some small way.
    I will use my 86,400 seconds as they pop up.
    And I will continue to fall in love with me.
    I love you so.

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