For a 2014 filled with self-love.

Remember that guy I had a crush on at the gym? Well, we got to talk a LOT. I discovered he is a jerk because he doesn’t like FRIENDS (who doesn’t like FRIENDS, seriously?), made fun of my career and said I was too old to be single. We didn’t go out or anything, this all happened at the gym, while we were both working out. I could really see through his responses how ego driven, self centered and insecureΒ this guy is. Anyways, after getting to know him a bit better I discovered I had made an idea of what he was like on my mind and reality didn’t match it.

A normal, self-loving person would have forgotten about this crush and moved on.

Not me.

I thought I was through with it but then, I downloaded TINDER. Tinder is an app that shows you single people around your area and if you like someone, he/she will find out only if they like you back. So, as I was scrolling through single guys I was imagining how cool it would be if I found gym guy there… and then BAM, there he was! Naturally, I liked him and guess what? he liked me back. Tinder then, indicated we were a match.

Screenshot_2013-12-30-15-52-33

What I had been wanting to be sure of since July…

We’ve been chatting (because I started a conversation with him) but he seems less than interested: it takes ages for him to reply, I ask the questions and he seems to be answering in order not to seem rude.

Why is it that I have a special attraction for jerks? Why is it that I know this is all wrong yet I keep wishing for him to reply?

Dating shouldn’t be as hard or as disappointing as this situation I allowed myself to be in. So why am I attracted to this jerk who is evidently wrong for me?

Will be continued…

This year, I will work even harder to love myself more than I already do. Then, the rest will follow.

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13 thoughts on “For a 2014 filled with self-love.

  1. Self-love is KEY and this guy sounds like a jerk. I am/was the same way – always attracted to that which I can’t have or shouldn’t want. Let’s pray we can change that in 2014!

  2. He does sound like a jerk! And a very selfish one at that. I think if you start loving and respecting yourself more. you will see you are worthy of a better guy πŸ™‚
    Also, there is a reason why they say women are attracted to bad boys… You wouldn’t be the first one!

  3. I can’t add more than what has been said already. Know that you are enough…you don’t need all these red flags going off and yet still feeling like there is something that you are seeking from him or anyone else. Many of us in addiction seek solace in the external, avoiding or not seeing what is within. Self-love is the key! This is something that took time for me and I still have to continue doing what will fulfil me without seeking elsewhere.

    Blessings and Happy New Year, my friend πŸ™‚

    Paul

    • Paul, as wise as always πŸ˜€ . I have to remind myself every day that I am enough because that much is true. I am on that, I promise. I know 2014 will be my best year yet πŸ™‚

  4. I know a lot of really great women who seem to have a propensity for jerks. I don’t know if they guys I dated were “jerks” or just REALLY wrong for me. When I look back on certain relationships I realize that I was insecure in a way that probably allowed them to be even bigger jerks than they naturally were. I am lucky to have a supportive, loving partner now, but he reminds me and encourages me to continue working on my own self-confidence and seeing myself in a positive light regardless of his input. I know need to love myself whether he is around or not.
    I hope you will find it easy and fun to love yourself this year. I sort of cringed when I saw you use the word “work” in reference to loving yourself. I know it can be a struggle at times, but try thinking of it differently. You are already loved by the Universal Source, God, and you are already perfect and unique and wonderful. Instead of working to love yourself more, why not ALLOW yourself to experience the love that is already there? Allowing is a lot different than work. Struggle and suffering comes from resistance, so just try to resist less πŸ˜‰

    • Of course! All I have to do is allow!!! How accurate, Kay πŸ™‚
      And I think people come into our lives to teach us lessons. Maybe this guy appeared to remind me how I have still stuff to learn in order to love myself even more.
      Thanks for being you, Kay. As always, I’m grateful for you.

  5. I know recovery is tricky. Mine is. But some things are simple. Self love. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. You’re on the right track. You know that validation has to be internal. Live in the world, but get your validation from the deepest place inside where you fine love and only love. When you meet someone worth your time — and you will — then you’ll have a place from which to give love. Offering genuine love is jerk-repellent. Genuine love attracts genuine love. It’s generously inside you. Just keep practicing self love. Yes, 2014 — The Year of Love for you.

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