Feeling inferior, hence being a b*tch.

Dear sis:

I know you don’t read this blog, but I need to tell you a few things.

I love you more than anything, but since I keep measuring my self-worth on looks, relationship status and popularity, I can’t be my true self with you so I end up being rude and aggressive. I don’t know if you know this but I envy you in several ways. You have never struggled with weight, you have a great boyfriend, you are popular and cool, you are strong, responsible and self-assured, you get anything you set your mind to, you dress amazingly well, you can wear a bikini and not worry about how you will look on it, you are incredibly gorgeous. I always thought that the older sister should be a role model to the younger one and I don’t think I am. As long as I don’t improve my self-image and self-worth, I will not be able to have a healthier relationship with you. My fears, insecurities and craziness don’t allow me to be my true, loving self with you.

I am getting there, sis, bare with me, I am in the process of self-love.

Remember I love you more than anything in the world even though I have a hard time showing it.

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6 thoughts on “Feeling inferior, hence being a b*tch.

  1. When do you get to be enough? What has to be in place? We are looking in the wrong place for the wrong thing when we feel inferior. The end result is self love …. the action gets the end result. Not the other way around. Make sense? xox

  2. Such an honest and courageous post Erika. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I do like what your friend Lisa wrote, because I agree: when WILL you be enough? You are truly beautiful inside and out right here and right now Bright One. You are a star already. You are loved. And if I could I would give you a loving hug filled with friendship, so hopefully you can still feel it. I am proud of you! Hugs, Gina

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