Not taking care of myself
I cannot let my guard down. Even though on Saturday I binged and wanted to throw it all up, I stopped myself and avoided doing that. I thought of my progress and knew that no amount of food can make me go back so many steps. I keep dreading gaining weight, I hate being overweight to this very day.
But now i understand what part do bulimia and overeating play in my life. They are that part of me who refuses to grow up. Being overweight and eating recklessly keep me focused on just that: on losing weight or eating “normally”. That way I don’t have to think of anything else.
My question right here right now is: What are you gonna do about this? Action is required, not overanalyzing. What keeps me from overeating? Preparing. What keeps me from growing up? Not assuming myself as an adult (and everything that implies being one).
Tomorrow is a new day, a new start. And even though I am still a child in many ways, I am also an adult in the making.