These past couple of days have felt like Deja vu.
I am back at where I started. I am 28 now. I am unhappily employed. I compare myself to other people and their jobs. I’m a pro at evading. I’m 24 again.
What did my 24 year old self did that got me right back here? She planned and promised but failed to develop either discipline or commitment. She moved from one comfort zone to another. She kept it quiet, not wanting to disturb. She pleased people. She kept herself down by not acknowledging her abilities. She was afraid to shine. She avoided listening to her gut (even though it was screaming out loud).
What is my gut saying right now?
Don’t quit French lessons, you’re doing amazing and it has a purpose, I promise. Keep writing on your blog. Honour yourself by keeping your promises. Develop discipline. Work hard(er). Flee the country.
What would I say to my 24 year old self?
“You will travel as much as you wish to (Missouri, NY, Chicago, Paris, London, and multiple times to the beach). The trips will exceed your expectations: reality does beat imagination. You’ll be very happy and unhappy because such is life (but happiness rules most of your life). You’ll learn French and succeed at it. You’ll get closer to real friends and discard the phony ones. You’ll lose 10 pounds in 5 months. You’ll enjoy taking care of yourself. You’ll binge on chocolates… and laughter and love. You’ll face rejection and write about it, and that will help you learn, hence grow. Love, your future, awesome self. “