But I know how to turn my mood around

Yesterday I came home and was sad, frustrated, done with life and the world. I hated my job, my life, my situation, etc. I was having the biggest pity party, and no one was invited.

I opened my computer and ran into old Design work I had done, old videos, old pictures. I realized I don’t give myself enough credit, I have made a sport out of it. I am a good designer, I am a good eating disorder battler, I am a good warrior. My obsession with perfection and my expectations are what keep me blindfolded.

I blindfold myself from the progress, my achievements and my current situation. Maybe I wanted to have EVERYTHING figured out by the time I turned a certain age. But I have reached a certain age and I don’t have it all figured out (nor have I the husband, the house and the perfect job). And that’s ok because life is about figuring things out, about getting better, stronger, wiser and smarter. Life is a learning journey. I still have a lot to change, and a long distance to walk but with all I have done I’ve paved the way to move faster in some areas. The difficult ones are those lessons I have yet to learn.

But Erika, come back here whenever you feel like you’ve run out of hope. Keep dancing, keep laughing and keep creating because that is your essence, not bingeing or feeling down.

I love you, and me, and you.

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2 thoughts on “But I know how to turn my mood around

  1. Erika! So happy to see you post!
    I totally get this – I want to have it all figured out and I want to have it figured out NOW. ha ha. I am also very guilty of blindfolding myself to the positive things in my life, or the contributions I make. I minimize them. I play them down. And sometimes we forget that we have gifts and talents because we focus on the things we feel we lack. Guilty as charged.

    Anyway, I am so happy you looked at things another way. This made my day.

    Hugs and blessings,
    Paul

    • Paul!!! How nice to hear from you! I had forgotten how good it feels to have this network of great people! And yes, we must change this and celebrate what makes us cool, not what makes us un-cool haha. I loved hearing from you too. I’ll try to post more often, and to read more from my faves 😉 Lots of love and happiness, Paul!

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