Venting time

These past couple of days have felt like Deja vu.

I am back at where I started. I am 28 now. I am unhappily employed. I compare myself to other people and their jobs. I’m a pro at evading. I’m 24 again.

What did my 24 year old self did that got me right back here? She planned and promised but failed to develop either discipline or commitment. She moved from one comfort zone to another. She kept it quiet, not wanting to disturb. She pleased people. She kept herself down by not acknowledging her abilities. She was afraid to shine. She avoided listening to her gut (even though it was screaming out loud).

What is my gut saying right now?

Don’t quit French lessons, you’re doing amazing and it has a purpose, I promise. Keep writing on your blog. Honour yourself by keeping your promises. Develop discipline. Work hard(er). Flee the country.

What would I say to my 24 year old self?

You will travel as much as you wish to (Missouri, NY, Chicago, Paris, London, and multiple times to the beach). The trips will exceed your expectations: reality does beat imagination. You’ll be very happy and unhappy because such is life (but happiness rules most of your life). You’ll learn French and succeed at it. You’ll get closer to real friends and discard the phony ones. You’ll lose 10 pounds in 5 months. You’ll enjoy taking care of yourself. You’ll binge on chocolates… and laughter and love. You’ll face rejection and write about it, and that will help you learn, hence grow. Love, your future, awesome self. “

 

 

 

 

Why I am grateful

You know what, diary? I just binged. I ate a mini brownie, a bolillo, 1/4 of avocado, and lots of Ritz cookies.

But a binge doesn’t define my day.

Waking up at 6 am to exercise does. Waking up with a smile on my face does define my day because there was a time, not long ago when I used to wake up not wanting to live, not wanting to get out of bed or even go outside. I keep remembering how horrifying and awful that was.

So now, I am grateful for every single day I wake up healthy, happy and looking forward for the day ahead of me.

I am no longer trying to analyse my binges, even though I wish they wouldn’t happen anymore. I am not wasting any more time overanalysing the negative aspects of my day. Because doing so brings more of the same.

Thanking God every single day for waking up.

Being grateful for having health.

Showing gratitude for my job by being of service.

Loving those around me more than I can imagine.

Meditating every single night

Having discipline.

Working hard.

Those things I can focus on and overanalyse. That way, I can keep growing. That way I can keep living.

Liebster Award

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The lovely Colleen from Sprinkles and Skirts nominated me and brought me back to blogging :).

The Liebster award is an award given out to meet new bloggers and identify your favorite ones.

After receiving the award you must:

1) Post the award on your blog.

2) Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their blog.

3) Write 11 random facts about yourself.

4) Nominate any number of bloggers you think deserve this award. If possible, they should have less than 200 followers.

5) Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you, and ask 11 questions to the people you nominate in your post. 

I nominate these amazing blogs:

Message in a bottle 

Joyful Cacophony

The Roaming Lama

Lose da Booze

Morning Tear

Work of your hands 

Weightloss Counter Revolution

Sprinkles and Skirts

Cauldrons and Cupcakes

Lifeyum

Sober Identity

Questions for my beautiful nominees:

What 3 items would you take if you went to a desert island?

What do you like most about life?

What makes you happy?

What is your passion?

What is it that you do every day to keep you joyful?

Why do you blog?

What is your favourite food in the world?

What is your biggest dream in life?

What book are you currently reading?

Who is your role model and why?

Favourite movie of all time?

Eleven random facts about me: 

1. I am a very good and happy Graphic Designer (not a web designer, evidently)

2. I have learned to love myself through this blog (I’m still learning)

3. My family is the most important thing in my life

4. Chocolate is the second most important thing in my life 

5. I am a sucker for anything that has “vegan”, “gluten free”, “organic” attached to any food title because it removes any feelings of guilt in my head

6. Dancing is part of my essence

7. I have an obsession with living abroad

8. Through this blog I have developed meaningful friendships (and hopefully long-lasting ones)

9. I have come to enjoy weightlifting thanks to several accounts I follow on Instagram of kick ass women

10. I think Beyoncé is the epitome of perfection in a human being 

11. I LOVE meeting new people and keeping them around 

Answers to questions asked by Colleen:

1. What is your favorite piece of clothing that you own and why? A blue blazer from Banana Republic cause it’s both pretty and cozy.

2. What is your achilles heel? Chocolate.

3. What is your biggest pet peeve? Visible tumors, or weird skin rashes.

4. Tropical beach or European city vacation? Tropical beach in winter, European city on summer.

5. What are you self-conscious about? My legs.

6. What inspires you? Blogs, beautiful movies, over achievers, Ted Talks, kind people, animals. 

7. Would you call yourself an introvert or an extrovert and why? An extrovert. I’ve been told I don’t have word-filter.

8. Cat person or dog person and why? Dog person ❤ <3. I’ve always been around dogs.

9. If you could interview anyone from history or today who would it be and why? Mindy Kaling because I admire her entirely.

10. What are you most proud of in your life? Recovering from bulimia.

11. What is your favorite thing to cook/bake? Tuna, basil, onions and tomato cous cous.

If you reached this part of the post, I congratulate you and leave you with a big kiss :* !!!

Thank you

I am grateful for the cozy, warm, huge and amazing house I live in because I often take it for granted and it is just breathtakingly beautiful.

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I am grateful for having taught a very nice woman today how to use her Mac more efficiently, and getting paid for providing that service. It may have appeared to be insignificant but it felt infinitely amazing.

I am grateful for my readers who light my day up with their comments, with their own posts and our connection. You shed amazing energy into my life in ways you can’t imagine.

I am grateful for having the best mom I could have ever asked for. She teaches me how to be a better person every single day.

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Positive change program, week 1

Cauldrons and Cupcakes’ Nicole is inviting anyone who wants to change, to join an eight week program she designed. I tried her Gratitude Challenge in the past and really felt happier afterwards so, naturally, when I read about this new program I knew I had to try it. You can check her blog out for more details.

I’m going to do this on my blog in order to get accountability and to spread positive and loving change!!! Also, to motivate myself through this platform :).

The first step is writing this affirmation down:

Dear Universe,

All of my life I have wanted to move in this new direction. I have felt it calling me, I have felt it just beyond my reach, although I have not always been able to clearly define that place or what it might mean for me.

I have always known that I was destined for more – being more, loving more, sharing more, having more.

Although I am uncertain, although I still cannot name all the changes I desire, my heart is open to them if they be for my Highest Good.

Today I honour my yearning for change, and I offer it up to you,trusting that I will be guided to discover the next steps, that I will be drawn to inspiration and opportunity, and that I can create a life for myself which is more expansive, more aligned to my purpose, more in flow.

My commitment to you is that for the next 8 weeks (and beyond) I am willing to explore and open to the possibilities of change, and to celebrate the many Blessings I already enjoy.

With love and gratitude, Erika. 

The next step is writing 3 blessings in my life:

Today I am thankful for exercising because after every hard workout I feel like the sexiest, happiest, most powerful woman alive (even though I may not look like it haha).

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I am thankful for getting to see my best friend every day of the week, act silly with him and laugh till my belly aches.

Me and Manu being silly on a rearview mirror...

Me and Manu being silly on a rearview mirror…

I am thankful for having a friend who is going through the same path, motivates me and allows me to motivate her every single day.

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And last but not least:

I choose ABUNDANCE.

Thanks for reading and witnessing my loving change 😉 .

Principles for May

  1. Want more for others than you want for yourself. Whatever it is that you perceive to be missing, whatever addictions you struggle with, whatever lack of luck, whatever lack of peace, want the peace you want for yourself, more for others.
  2. Think from the end. See yourself surrounded by the people and the events that you want in your life. In order to manifest what you want, act as if it’s already here. Begin with the end in mind.
  3. Be an appreciator of your life. Concentrate on what is valuable in your life. Make yourself and your life valuable.
  4. Stay in rapport to your source energy. The source energy where we come from is pure abundance. Be in a state of harmony with the source. Ask the question: Is this how my source thinks?
  5. Every thought that you have that is other than that which you emanated from is resistance. Every unkind thought, uncreative thought, of judgement, of depression, of fear, of comparison, of “it can’t happen”, it’s all resistance. If you think that all of this is bullshit, then it is, if you think this won’t work, then it won’t. The universal source will help you fulfill your belief.
  6. Contemplate yourself as surrounded by the conditions which you want to produce. You are one with source and all of it’s principles.
  7. Understand the art of allowing. Allowing means taking the path of least resistance. Every time you have a thought that has resistance is because you have created an absence of allowing.
  8. Practice radical humility. You are not this body you are in, you aren’t your possessions, you aren’t your mind, you are a divine source of power and abundance.
  9. Be in a constant state of gratitude. Be grateful for everything that shows up. Stay in a state of being generous and grateful. What could be more generous than that which has allowed you to come from the infinite source to the material world and back?
  10. Keep in mind that you can never resolve a problem by condemning it. Any problem that you have where you use shame, you are using the lowest energy there is in the universe.
  11. Play the match game. Always ask yourself: am i matched up with the field of intention?
  12. Meditate: It is a way of staying connected to the source. The only thing you cannot divide is God. Silence cut in half is silence. Stay in the gap.

Happiness depends on how I arrange my mind.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Taken from here.

Flowing

Oh today!

Today I woke up at 6am and returned to my family club where I did a 1 hr spinning class and an aerobics one afterwards. My return was pretty intense haha, I even felt a little dizzy afterwards! But I enjoyed having finished my workout at 9 am. My mom had to wake me up, I admit it, but the important thing is that I did it and it felt great. I stopped attending those classes because they don’t fulfill me 100% but neither did a lot of other classes, so I have to stop with the excuses and get shit done!!

I’ve been hanging out a lot with a new friend whose energy is entirely different than any of my strong-character kind of friends. She is very similar to me in many ways: we’re both adaptable, kind, funny, distracted and overall nice haha. I have many different friends and social groups, but whenever I try to mix them, it ends up being a disaster. The main problem is that most of them belong to different groups because their strong personalities and character make it impossible to mesh well together. This new acquired friend appeared in my life recently and I don’t think it was a coincidence, I know it is a reflection of how I’m feeling and the self-love I am breeding. She is also helping me realize many things because she listens to me and gives me advice. She is contributing immensely to my self-growth. I wanted to mention her because she’s become so close to me to the point we call each other “twins”. She is 3 years younger than me but appears to be 17 haha. I think she is the first close friend I connected with without sharing weight problems or without pretending to be anything other than me, our relationship flows harmoniously. She is naturally skinny and eats like crazy. But being around her doesn’t make me feel fat or inferior, not even when we go to nightclubs together and she gets hit on constantly. I think that fact also speaks positively about my new built self confidence. Here’s a picture of both of us at a party in her house. We’re the best looking twins ever 😉

On another subject, I have been extremely sensitive with one of my partners who uses “light bullying” to make fun of others, or make people laugh. He is definitely walking evidence of how the way you feel inside reflects how you treat other people. It seems I have been attracting not many positive people into my life, the good thing is that I’m becoming aware and that by changing the relationship towards myself, I’ll be attracting more positive and blissful people. They say that people around us are like mirrors, and I strongly believe there’s a little bit of me in each close friend/partner/family member. And, there’s a lesson I have to learn from each one of them. I think I’m getting there.

I’ll wrap this post up with an amazing quote from my lovely book “Meditations from the mat”.

HE THAT WILL NOT APPLY NEW REMEDIES MUST EXPECT NEW EVILS; FOR TIME IS THE GREATEST INNOVATOR.- Sir Francis Bacon

The mind is a beautiful tool…

…when used properly.

July is here and today I celebrate my 3 month anniversary of no-barfing. I couldn’t be happier!!!!! 🙂

I really felt like updating my blog today because I’m feeling incredibly good and powerful and wanted to share it with you readers.

I have been working on some goals because in order to define where I’m going next, I must have small achievable goals each month to get me where I’m supposed to be next. So far the only goal I’ve achieved has been no barfing. I have 6 goals for this month:

1. Reading 3 chapters of “Meditations from the Mat” each week

2. Sleeping at 11:30pm

3. No binging

4. Reduce my refined sugar intake significantly

5. Exercise 5 times a week

6. Going in the opposite direction fear tries taking me

Maybe I’ll add another goal each week, I know I can do many more things, but I’ll work on this ones right now. Writing them in my little blog will make me work harder on them.

Lately I’ve found out about a lot of people around me doing extremely good, living in abundance, and having great things happening to them, so I am aware abundance is infinite and every one of us deserves to experience it.

I’ll leave you with this, I must admit I’m a sucker for quotes.

Now I wanna share a little piece of my abundance: me with some friends catching up :). Besides, a post with pictures is always prettier.

 

Love, Erika