Remember that guy I had a crush on at the gym? Well, we got to talk a LOT. I discovered he is a jerk because he doesn’t like FRIENDS (who doesn’t like FRIENDS, seriously?), made fun of my career and said I was too old to be single. We didn’t go out or anything, this all happened at the gym, while we were both working out. I could really see through his responses how ego driven, self centered and insecure this guy is. Anyways, after getting to know him a bit better I discovered I had made an idea of what he was like on my mind and reality didn’t match it.
A normal, self-loving person would have forgotten about this crush and moved on.
Not me.
I thought I was through with it but then, I downloaded TINDER. Tinder is an app that shows you single people around your area and if you like someone, he/she will find out only if they like you back. So, as I was scrolling through single guys I was imagining how cool it would be if I found gym guy there… and then BAM, there he was! Naturally, I liked him and guess what? he liked me back. Tinder then, indicated we were a match.
What I had been wanting to be sure of since July…
We’ve been chatting (because I started a conversation with him) but he seems less than interested: it takes ages for him to reply, I ask the questions and he seems to be answering in order not to seem rude.
Why is it that I have a special attraction for jerks? Why is it that I know this is all wrong yet I keep wishing for him to reply?
Dating shouldn’t be as hard or as disappointing as this situation I allowed myself to be in. So why am I attracted to this jerk who is evidently wrong for me?
Will be continued…
This year, I will work even harder to love myself more than I already do. Then, the rest will follow.
myrecoverydiary 