But I know how to turn my mood around

Yesterday I came home and was sad, frustrated, done with life and the world. I hated my job, my life, my situation, etc. I was having the biggest pity party, and no one was invited.

I opened my computer and ran into old Design work I had done, old videos, old pictures. I realized I don’t give myself enough credit, I have made a sport out of it. I am a good designer, I am a good eating disorder battler, I am a good warrior. My obsession with perfection and my expectations are what keep me blindfolded.

I blindfold myself from the progress, my achievements and my current situation. Maybe I wanted to have EVERYTHING figured out by the time I turned a certain age. But I have reached a certain age and I don’t have it all figured out (nor have I the husband, the house and the perfect job). And that’s ok because life is about figuring things out, about getting better, stronger, wiser and smarter. Life is a learning journey. I still have a lot to change, and a long distance to walk but with all I have done I’ve paved the way to move faster in some areas. The difficult ones are those lessons I have yet to learn.

But Erika, come back here whenever you feel like you’ve run out of hope. Keep dancing, keep laughing and keep creating because that is your essence, not bingeing or feeling down.

I love you, and me, and you.

Ok, so since I started this blog I’ve received several awards from my lovely readers and I have to say that I haven’t quite gotten the hang of it:

I don’t understand how much time I have to write a worthy response, how many blogs I have to nominate, how many interesting facts about me I have to mention, which blogs fall under the category of the award, which facts aren’t inappropriate to include, etc.

I also don’t understand where these awards come from. Who initiates them? Who sets the rules? Who creates the look of the award? Why mention 10 bloggers, or 15?

I didn’t expect any of those awards, or any award whatsoever, but the three times I’ve received one, I’ve been pleasantly surprised and very honoured :).

So, considering how much I don’t understand this whole Award-Giving ritual, I decided to create a brand new award without any rules, I’ll only share some random facts about me and show some love to those who I enjoy reading so much and make blogging worthwhile.

Random facts:

1. The only ones who know about this blog are my mom, my brother, my cousin, one very close friend and a friend I met through a friend haha.

2. I am a graphic designer so naturally I created this new blog award.

3. I opened up my own Graphic Design Business over a year ago along with 4 other friends (Only one of them knows about this blog).

4. I doubt every single day if I’m doing what I’m supposed to do in order to be happy.

5. Blogging has turned out to be one of the greatest things that happened to me.

6. My nose has been fake since 2004.

7. I religiously read the following blogs almost every day:

Nicole’s : I’m a sucker for positive and interesting posts and Nicole is an expert on writing a perfect mix between them. I became an even bigger fan of her blog when she created the 30-day Gratitude Challenge.

Cassy’s : This girl is 3 years younger than me and has already gotten married, lost 63 (SIXTY THREE! ) pounds, and become so much wiser than many 30-year olds I’ve known haha. She is drop dead awesome, funny and inspiring, to say the least.

Hélène’s : This blog is one of my dearest. Hélène is a wonderfully kind, caring and loving person who lives surrounded by breathtaking landscapes, the cutest dog ever, cool workouts, and doesn’t mind sharing all of her bliss with us. I am a little biased on recommending her blog because she has become one of my closest blogger friends :).

Lisa’s : Every single one of Lisa’s posts is filled with so much positive energy, it’s unbelievable. Anytime I wanna feel inspired, happy or vibe in a wonderful place, I go to this blog. She leads a happy and fulfilling life and transmits it to anyone who reads her.

Mike’s : This blog will make you laugh your ass off want it or not. Mike’s wit and impeccably crazy writing will turn a seemingly boring day into a very entertaining one. One post of his will get at least one laugh out of even the most bitter person.

Liv’s : This girl makes me feel self-conscious about writing or blogging. Her writing is just perfect, honestly; I have to confess I have even shed a few tears while reading her. Not only is she interesting and smart, she also has a very fine sense of humour. I wouldn’t be surprised if she soon becomes a published author.

Boomie’s : Boomie is an amazingly talented poetry writer whose endless kindness makes you wanna meet and hug her. She finds a way to make poetry out of anything and does a hell of a great job at it.

Anna’s : I am new to her blog but I have become quite fond of it rather quickly. Anna mixes her running expertise, traveling adventures, photography talent and cool personality, all to give us a very enjoyable blog.

Lama’s : This blogger not only showcases his incredible photographic talent but he also includes great anecdotes concerning a place or object in the picture. His marvellous pictures speak for themselves, so you’ll have to check them out for yourselves.

Corinne’s : This blog has been the biggest inspiration to me, I think. Corinne’s blog captivated me when I saw her before-after pictures, they are beyond impressive!!. Witnessing how she achieved that massive weight loss made me SEE how anything is possible with the right mindset. Her bubbly personality is the cherry on top of this fabulous blog.

Clotilda’s : I’m a huuge fan of this blog, mainly because it’s one of the most original and different ones I read. Her writing is really good and her high school stories are both disturbing and entertaining. You must read her to understand what I’m saying (or what she’s saying).

Kim’s : Kim promotes a sugar-free life because of how dangerous it has been proven to be. He is documenting his weight loss by sharing his wisdom with every single post and reply he writes. He never gives advice without a strong argument and he is the reason I’ve been struggling to cut sugar definitely out of my diet without any success…yet.

I read many other blogs, but these are by far my favourite ones and the ones I come back to almost on a daily basis.

Thank you so so much for writing such incredible blogs, and to those who follow mine: thank you for taking the time to read me.

Thanks for the infinite inspiration

 

On August the 3rd, I reached 4 months without barfing. I am so very proud of myself :D. I will no longer be defined by bulimia. In fact, on September I will change my small blog description. I am not a recovering bulimic, I am ME! And that is more than enough. I used to think that being a bulimic made me more interesting but now I can see the big picture and I am sure I can finally exploit my potential.

I opened this blog with an end in mind, but I think I also let my eating disorder define me. It has been doing so for a long time. Well, not anymore. The next step is to not binge.

My ideas are not exactly clear; writing posts takes a long time because I have to narrow my ideas down to a few coherent sentences or paragraphs. I don’t know how all of you, fellow bloggers do it! I am a fan of each one of those I follow and admire your ability to write not only coherent but also inspiring and insightful posts! You motivate me every single day, you inspire me to be better because you are all role models to me in a way. Since I started blogging my life has completely turned around. Reading every single one of you makes me realize how abundance is infinite and how everything IS possible.

Knowing that there are so many kind, caring, loving, blissful people out there has given me an unexplainable energy.

 

When I started writing in this platform, my energy was so low I didn’t even feel like getting out of bed in the morning. Now I get up at 6 am to exercise 4 times a week, have more clients than ever and feel extremely energized throughout the whole week. Now I can say with certainty that I can be a walking testimony, that I can lead by example and that I can make ANY dream come true.

Amongst many other factors and things, I can thank YOU, reader. Thanks for inspiring me and helping me discover my true self. Every single day I am grateful for you guys, your writing, your journey, your comments, your unconditional support, your documented struggles, and your incredible teachings.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.